You and your partner may well have differing opinions on all sorts of issues – maybe the time, date or venue of your wedding – and that is how it should be. It could be that you want four or more children and your partner is yet to be persuaded!
Discussion and amicable negotiation on joint projects is not only healthy but essential, and getting married can bring unresolved issues to the surface that you talk through and manage. There is no point in leaving any issues that are bothering you unresolved and just sweeping them under the carpet. One day they will reappear to confront you and demand an answer.
This is going to be the start of the important two-way conversations between you which will continue throughout your married life, so why not start now?
Talk less and listen more! If you are not a great listener, then this is just the time to get some practice in. Many people are very good at giving opinions but not so good at listening attentively to someone. A short listening-skills course might be appropriate for either, or both, of you!
- When contentious issues arise, diffuse them straight away instead of risking resentment.
- Arrange a time to sit down and share some of your feelings. Go out for a meal in a quiet restaurant and talk them through. This is all part of the ‘getting to know you’ process.
- Do not feel the need to always be right. Sometimes your partner is not wrong!
- If you don’t pride yourself on being a good listener then now might be the right time to take a course to improve your skills.
- Compromise will always be your good friend in the years to come, if you treat it as a friend.
Guest post by Carole Spiers, Love and Relationship Expert
Image from Sam Gibson Photography