The acceptance of a marriage proposal can bring about a new you – whether you are the bride or the groom. Of course, you are not really a ‘new’ person, but since you have decided to take the plunge and get married everything seems different.
If you are the bride-to-be, your engagement ring will certainly fill you with excitement and pride, and you will probably think that everyone is looking at your finger as you travel home on the train after work!
If you are the husband-to-be, you may start thinking about your new role and the responsibilities that go with it. You may also have a vague suspicion that going to the match with your mates on Saturdays may not be so certain in the future!
From Singleton to Doubleton
That important decision to get married will mean that each of you will have a changed perspective on life as a doubleton instead of a singleton. Suddenly there is someone else to consider and the entire domestic landscape will be excitingly different.
You will have to recognise that there will be someone else who needs to use to bathroom. Those days when you could spend hours experimenting with blue mascara (if you’re the bride), or trimming your beard or chest (if you’re the groom), might now become a distant memory.
You’ll swap independence and an unmade bed for interdependence and a tidy bedroom. You will begin to appreciate that one person standing on another’s shoulders can reach much further than one alone. And that is one of the great secrets of marriage. It creates a bond that gives you both strength to face life together as a team, and that is incredibly valuable and important in good times and bad. It’s an asset you can’t buy in an Apple store!
- Sit down together and discuss your feelings. You may both be on the same page, or you may not and it may take one of you a little longer to catch up with the other.
- Do not give up your independence just because you are getting married. Arrange nights out with your friends and give your partner the green light to do the same.
- Talk over your individual needs and expectations to see where you can reach a compromise.
- Do not allow your partner’s friends to come between you. Try and develop a circle of friends that is inclusive of you both.
Guest post by Carole Spiers, Love and Relationship Expert
Image from Pixabay