Parents and future parents-in-law certainly don’t create stress on purpose, but sometimes it happens during the wedding planning process. Why? Well, because it is an important family celebration for them as well. A wedding is a unique occasion for everyone concerned, and is often seen by parents as a good excuse for a large party to which they can invite all their friends.
But you should remember that this is your big day. This means there is a need for everyone in the immediate family to discuss the arrangements in detail. The older generation will still have expectations and suggestions you may need to consider and manage sensitively.
You will, no doubt, be thinking about arrangements for guests coming from out of town. You don’t want to upset anyone but your aunt Catherine is so disruptive. Does she want to come anyway and, if she does, who on earth will want to sit next to her? There is also uncle Ray who said that he doesn’t really like the look of your fiancée. And so it goes on…
The situation may also arise where there are step-parents. This situation will have to be managed diplomatically alongside the birth parents. Weddings are often a time of heightened emotions for all the family.
Remember that although the mother of the bride often gets singled out as being special, you should make sure the mother of the groom does not feel isolated in any way.
- Speak to your parents and prospective in-laws individually to give them the good news of your future wedding. Make both sets of parents feel they are part of the decision-making and planning process.
- Bring members of both families together as soon as possible to help them to get to know one another. This is important as you will all need to work in harmony in order to make your wedding a success.
- Parents can often feel left out of the wedding arrangements as it is not their day. Yet in some cultures it is the parents who take over the whole period prior to the wedding celebrations. So, try to ensure discussions take place beforehand so everyone feels a part of the celebration and valued for their contribution.
- Be sensitive to others people’s feelings. This may be a very happy time for you but possibly a little sad for others who are not so fortunate in their own personal circumstances.
- Ask step-parents if they would like to be involved and how, so they do not feel marginalised.
Guest post by Carole Spiers, Love and Relationship Expert
Image from Pixabay