You’ve found a partner you want to marry, you’ve popped the question or said ‘Yes’, and now the big day is right around the corner. You are excited, but at the same time the reality of the responsibility that comes with marriage is hitting you. The overwhelming thoughts turn to nerves, and before you know it you begin to panic and get cold feet. The cold feet accommodate thoughts such as, ‘I can’t go through with this’, and the ‘what if’ questions start to flood your mind. You may find it hard to sleep at night and the doubts may greet you when you wake in the morning.
Just Show Up!
Congratulations! You have officially been diagnosed with a tough case of pre-wedding nerves. But, rest assured, not only is it common, it’s actually quite normal. Between the time you fell in love and you made the last payment on the flowers, cake, and DJ, things were great. Now there’s nothing left to do but show up, and that’s the part you’re beginning to doubt you’ll be able to do.
Nerves, doubts, second-guessing yourself – they are all normal reactions people experience before they get married. Everyone manifests themselves in different ways because no two people deal with things the same way. One person may want to switch off from other people, tune out the world and the voices in their head, and get on with what they know they have to do. Someone else may want to socialise, be the life of the party, and surround themselves with loads of people.
Chances are you will experience pre-wedding nerves. The degree they affect you will depend on the type of person you are and how you normally deal with big moments. Just know that countless others before you have experienced the same thing, and have gone on to enjoy happy and exciting wedding days and marriages.
- If you are nervous, talk things through with your partner. The truth of the matter is if you’re nervous, they’re probably nervous too. You can both provide each other with reassurance.
- Likewise, this might be a perfect time when your parents can help. Or, ask married friends; they may be able to give you support and pointers on how they coped with their own pre-wedding nerves.
- Remember, it is perfectly natural to feel nervous. It is not strange and you are not alone, so seek reassurance from those closest to you.
Guest post by Carole Spiers, Love and Relationship Expert
Image from Flickr by Francesco (CC BY 2.0 License)