It is very sad when someone close to you dies, but it is especially tough to deal with the bereavement of a close family member or friend if it happens in the lead-up to your wedding.
Emotions will undoubtedly be on the surface for your loss, and trying to balance them with the natural happiness of a wedding is going to be difficult. So, you need to think long and hard about how you manage the inevitable roller coaster of emotions.
One day you may feel in control of your feelings, but on another day you may see or hear something. You start to cry at the reality that a dear one will not share in your happiness, and it is a sad fact that can be overwhelming.
You may consider changing the format of your wedding from dinner and dancing in the evening to a smaller lunchtime wedding reception. Everyone would appreciate the situation and you will need to be as happy as is possible with the proposed change.
If you are finding it hard to cope then maybe ask for help from a bereavement counsellor. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for support. It can help you manage your feelings and better appreciate the process of handling bereavement.
- It may be helpful and comforting to consider what the deceased might wish you to do in the circumstances. If it is, for instance, your grandfather who has died, then speak to all your family as well as your fiancée and consider how you can best reflect your loss in a dignified way. No one can replace him but he can be remembered with love and affection.
- The key word is ‘sensitivity’ for everyone around you.
- Think about how you can mention the deceased in speeches without making everyone become too emotional, but still paying tribute to a very special person. It may bring a lump to your throat when you speak, but your audience are with you and will understand.
Article by Carole Spiers, Love and Relationship Expert
Image from Flickr by ePI.Longo (CC BY-SA 2.0 License)