When a couple run out of conversation and have nothing to say to each other then they could be heading towards serious relationship problems. You may wonder why you are both going to a restaurant if you are just going to look at the walls!
There is, of course, nothing wrong with sitting in silence sometimes just to feel contentment in whatever space you are both occupying. Plus, it is true that some couples speak to each other more than others.
However, don’t ignore the warning signs if when you look at your spouse you think to yourself ‘I have nothing to say!’ Can you see that red light flashing above you head? If so, it’s time to do something about it.
Think back to the early days when you were dating. The chances are that your conversations were lively and vibrant. What was it that attracted you to your spouse? What was it you had in common that has now disappeared?
Often what happens over the years is that both sides put little effort, and when there is no energy from either of you you’ll both switch off. One person stops trying, the other follows suit and you end up just thinking about the next course!
Conversation needs to be interesting for both parties, with positive energy coming from it – complaints and dissatisfaction are not subjects that give positive vibes! If you are always being negative then no one will want to listen to you and will avoid you like the plague – and who can blame them! We all like to be with optimistic people who make us feel good.
- Show interest in your spouse and be interesting to talk to as well.
- Demonstrate your interest by listening attentively to what is being said, and remember it so you can refer to the conversation at another time.
- Don’t ask closed questions that require just a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ answer as this will not encourage conversation that flows. Try some more in-depth questions e.g. ‘tell me about…’, ‘what happened when…’.
- Discuss your thoughts and feelings for the day and make your spouse feel part of your life and your daily activity.
- Be aware that your spouse may have had a tiring day and adjust your conversation accordingly.
Guest post by Carole Spiers, Love and Relationship Expert
Image from How Photography