Wedding Planning - Ask the Expert Session 06/08/2010
On 6th August the latest ‘Ask the Expert’ session was held on The Wedding Community discussion forum, with The Wedding Community’s wedding planning expert Julie Tooby of Essentially You. Here are the questions and answers from the session.
Q I am having real problems finding wide fit ivory shoes, any ideas? I need a 5E with medium sensible heel and at a reasonable price!
A For wide fitting wedding shoes have a look at this site : www.elegantsteps.co.uk. They have varied styles at affordable prices.
Q I have been interested in becoming a wedding planner myself but do not know where to start, please can you advise how you got started? What would you say would be the best way to start myself?
A I would advise a workshop for a true picture of what you are getting into. Planning weddings sounds exciting and glamorous but it is also hard work, long hours and very stressful. If you are prepared for that than a workshop will give you an idea of how to go about setting up etc. I run one so check out my site www.essentially-you.net for the sort of thing you should look for.
Q We are supplying all the drinks for our wedding. We have approx 90 guests for the wedding breakfast and then another 20 in the evening. Could you possibly give me an indication as to how much booze and soft drinks we would require? We are looking to have wine, bottled beers, spirits (vodka, gin & whisky), mixers and bottled water.
A This would depend on the sort of drinkers you have coming along, are they heavy drinkers, average or a mix of the two? I have found this nifty tool online: http://www.evite.com/pages/party/drink-calculator.jsp. It should help.
Q We are looking to have a marquee for our wedding but someone has told me that they are going out of fashion and to look at a tepee or yurt. In your experience what would you say is best? We are going to have about 100 guests during the day.
A I do not think marquees will go out of fashion as they offer a blank canvas that is flexible, and you can indeed make your mark on the day with your decor of it. I think a tepee is a more 'modern take', but a good marquee from a great firm is hard to beat, especially if they are well cared for. They offer a good space and the ability to add a 'chill out' and dance area.
Q My partner has just proposed and we are planning to marry in Feb next year. This will be a second marriage for both of us, however we would still like a beautiful wedding. We are both still young – ish and we were both married a long time ago when we were very young. Do you think it is ok for me to wear the dress and have a big wedding? I know it is less than a year away so we will need to plan fast.
A I think you should have whatever you want. Just because it is the second time around does not mean you have to have less and be understated. If a lavish affair with all the trimmings is what you both want then go for it! It's your day and you should look back with a smile of satisfaction that you would not change a thing. You should never look back with regret thinking 'I wish we'd...'. However, decide a budget and stick to it. February is not far but is do-able. I would perhaps look at the option of a planner though as they can save you money and will pull it together without stress for you and you H2B. If you want more info and any help let me know.
Q Hi - my family wouldn't have properly met my fiancée’s family until the wedding - can you suggest anything to make them talk/bond at the wedding?
A Well how do you get people talking? I think actually it just happens and couples can over complicate the matter by worrying about it too much. It's a wedding so naturally people will chat about you, the day and your surroundings etc. I would suggest mixing the tables a little so you have both families mixed up on them all, as they won't sit in silence. Alternatively you could get some ice breaker games such as table trivia. Another really fun option you could try is something quirky with the food. I will be doing a post with alternative ideas on the wedding community this week so keep a look out.
Q I am planning to have a vintage wedding – the colour scheme is forest green, white and black. I don't want to pay more than £1 per person on wedding favours. Any ideas on what I should do? We are having 60 people for wedding breakfast.
A Why have favours at all? If it is not something that is important to you then I would leave it and add the money to entertainment, food or drink. Often you will find that favours are left behind. They do look lovely but are not a necessity.
Q My bride to be has tasked me to book our honeymoon. We are getting married in December 2012 and I was wondering if you could give me some ideas as to where would be a great place for us to go at that time of year? We don’t have a huge budget but would like to go somewhere beautiful where the weather will be good.
A This is such a personal choice and the best advice would come from a travel agent, however, here is a site that will give you the climates for different destination in December. You can choose the temperatures you would like and a list will appear www.weather2travel.com/holidayplanner
Q We are thinking about having fireworks during our wedding reception in the evening. Have any of your clients had fireworks at their weddings?
A Lots of my clients have fireworks and it looks lovely, however, do remember that you can't have them at the very end of the proceedings as you do have a curfew time I believe to be 11pm.
Q I have just come across this site today and have been reading the wedding advice and noticed in one of your articles about wedding planning you mention it’s a good idea to hire a wedding planner. Is it their job to plan your whole wedding or will we have some say?
A Of course you have a say if you hire a planner, we are there to help and advise and deal with the stress. Never would we dismiss you ideas or take over, it's your day and that must never be compromised. It could be that a planner can save you money to effectively cover the costs of having one. We certainly pride ourselves on listening and understanding our couples and delivering the day they want.
Q Please can you give me some ideas of how I can keep children occupied at our wedding? There will be about 10 ranging from 2 ½ to 9. I can’t wait to hear your ideas as I don’t know where to begin.
A I have a great article on entertaining younger guests, get in touch and I’ll send it over, or if you’re a reader of Wedding Ideas you may have already seen it. You can do activity tables, or perhaps if budgets allow a children's entertainer is great. I know a fab one that always goes down well, or this company provide boxes for all ages www.eventsmiles.co.uk.
Q What is the first thing we should do to plan the theme for our wedding? We have been collecting cuttings from mags but it’s not really coming together very well. Can you help by pointing me in the right direction?
A Well you’re on the right path. Cut out all the things you love and then I would say book a consultation, usually complimentary with a planner and they will give you some guidance. Or book an hour or two of their time and they will come up with a mood board to really set you on your way. It can be a minefield and what you don't want to do is waste your budget on things you will end up never using.
Q We are trying to get a theme together for our wedding. We would like to have a sort of fairground / tea party wedding but we are not sure what would be best to decorate the marquee with. We have seen people using bunting but we wanted to have something quite unique. Also we would like to have some wedding stationery with this theme, do you know any companies that do quirky wedding stationery that might tie-in with our theme? Any ideas gratefully received!
A Lots of things going on with your theme and I think you could come up with some really great ideas that are different and really put a stamp on the day. My first port of call would be to chat with your florist and see how they can bring new and exciting things to the 'party'. Vintage is big at the moment and the fairground twist is interesting; I am seeing cotton candy pinks. Perhaps your caterer could come up with a take on that to incorporate within the menu.
Q I just got engaged on Wednesday and have no idea where to start. I know there is so much to organise, what would you say are the most important things to be done first?
A How exciting, congratulations! You have a long road to travel, firstly however you need to be sensible and look at budgets, then you can begin to research venues, ceremonies and dates. Tying up all three of these can be stressful so don't let it affect your excitement, stick with it, once arranged you can get going on the 101 other things that will make you smile.
Many thanks again to Julie for all her help and advice. If you have any questions of just want to chat, start or join in a discussion on The Wedding Community forum.
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