Children at Weddings

When you start planning your guest list, you’ll undoubtedly come across the question of whether or not to have children at your wedding.  For couples that already have their own children (or nieces and nephews) it’s often a no-brainer, but for couples that don’t have children in their immediate family or aren’t particularly child-orientated it can be a real dilemma.  Ultimately, it’s your day and you have to make the right decision for you.

Child Free Weddings

If you decide not to invite children, it’s a good idea to make this clear from the start to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings later on.  The personal touch can be the best way to get this across to your guests without seeming negative, perhaps by phoning them to explain the situation (you could use guest numbers and budget as an excuse), and mentioning how it would be a nice opportunity to have some time off and let their hair down.

Child Friendly Weddings

Children are often fascinated by weddings and this can mean they’ll be on their best behaviour, especially if they have a role to play (suitable for their age) such as:

• Flower girl
• Ring bearer
• Bridesmaid/groomsman
• Usher (older children)

Having a part to play will make children feel important and included, and involving them in wedding rehearsals will help them understand what happens on the day.  Some children can become quite shy in front of a room full of grown-ups.  If this happens don’t put pressure on them, offer reassurance and allow them to be involved as little or much as they want.

Making arrangements for children during your civil ceremony or wedding reception will also help things run smoothly e.g. seating couples with young children or babies near the back in case they need to take them outside.

Wedding Reception

There are lots of things you can do to help kids enjoy your wedding reception as much as the adults. Firstly, check with your chosen wedding venue to find out what facilities they have for children so that you can let your guests know in advance, for example:

• High chairs
• Travel cots (if staying overnight)
• Baby changing facilities
• Children’s menu

Some venues may suggest that parents of very young children (i.e. under 2 years) bring suitable food with them.

Instead of traditional wedding favours, you could give children activity bags or boxes for them to play with during the wedding breakfast that include things like colouring books and small toys (you can DIY or buy these ready-made from somewhere like www.eventsmiles.co.uk).

Children are usually happy and well behaved when they are kept busy and entertained.  Expecting them to sit still listening to speeches is a bridge too far for most kids, so why not arrange something fun for them to look forward to after the meal such as:

• Bouncy castle - www.haveabounce.co.uk
• Clowns or puppet show - www.squeakytheclown.co.uk
• Magic show - www.leemichaels-magic.co.uk
• Face painting - www.tumshies.co.uk
• Mobile crèche - www.artfullsplodgers.com
• Mobile petting zoo - www.theminifarm.co.uk
• ‘Children’s table’ with games and colouring books
• Kids area with a DVD player or games console
• Traditional games like hoopla or skittles (adults love these too!)

If you really want to push the boat out, you could even have a mini children’s fun fair. Take a look at www.candyflosscrazy.com.

For many people, weddings are a family celebration that wouldn’t be complete without children.  While you can’t always predict how kids will behave, it’s those moments when they do or say something unwittingly funny or heart-meltingly adorable that can be among the most memorable of your wedding day!

Article by Wedding Venue Advisor Jemma Williams

Images Courtesy of –

Image 1 – Helen Jones Photography

Images 2 and 3 – Simon Hudsperth Photography

For more advice on children at weddings read the 10 Tips on How to Entertain Children at Weddings article by Julie Tooby.

Read more Wedding Venue Advice articles

Read other Wedding Advice articles