Wedding Gift Lists - How to Ask Nicely

Some couples can feel embarrassed when asking for wedding presents from their guests and some don't need the traditional wedding gift items. Most guests will want to give gifts so how can you ask for what you want without feeling awkward?

Traditionally a couple would be young, penniless and beginning married life with the support of their families. Support would be both emotionally and also through items to start them in their first home together. Before the wedding a bride would start a “bottom drawer”, mainly a drawer full of items she would need when she was married, housewife pillows, embroidered aprons and beyond.

As times have changed and more couples live together before they are married, it has become the norm for couples to receive luxury gifts from their guests to mark the occasion. In order to avoid 12 sets of matching frog ornaments it’s usual for couples to request certain items; usually practical items they haven’t been able to previously afford. Today gift lists are popular and an increasingly acceptable means of contributing to a couple’s married life.

Most good department stores offer a gift list service where you can choose many items from the store. These are placed on a list and your guests can shop your list by phone, via the internet or in person. A gift list is recognised by an account number. There are also online gift list services; these are best found at wedding shows or by searching the internet.

There are other options!

Many couples already live together and do not wish to have a traditional gift list. They would prefer...err cash! I once worked on a wedding where the bride inserted bank paying in slips into the invite, which at the time I thought it was fairly crude, as were the words “Cash gifts only” in another. Cash is a sensitive subject; some guest’s object to being asked for cash, some people prefer giving cash because you can then purchase something you will treasure.  It’s your day, it’s your decision. Ask nicely, that’s my advice and ensure you communicate to your guests that giving isn’t compulsory.

I’ve put together some wording suggestions to assist. Good luck, happy shopping.

01: Registered list
Your presence at the wedding is more
important to us than presents!
However, if you would like to buy
a gift we have a gift list at [xxx].
You may order on-line, by telephone
or in person.
Our gift lift number is: [xxxx] and is open
from 12th May 2008.

02: Cash gifts
Your presence is present enough,
but if you would like to give a gift,
cash gifts would be greatly appreciated.

or

As we have been sharing a home for some time
we have decided not to have a traditional gift list,
if you would like to mark the occasion any
monetary gifts would be greatly appreciated.

03: Cash gifts, specific purchase
As we have been sharing a home for some time
we have decided not to have a traditional gift list.
Instead we are asking for contributions to
our married life together in the form of
monetary contributions for [our honeymoon,
which will be our holiday of a lifetime].

04: Vouchers
Your presence is present enough,
but if you would like to mark the occasion,
[xxx] vouchers would be greatly appreciated.

or

As we live outside the UK we have been unable
to set up a gift registry. Should you wish to give us
a gift for our home, there are a few things we
would like from [name of shop], so [name of shop]
vouchers would be much appreciated.

or

As we have been sharing a home for some time
we have decided not to have a traditional gift list.
Instead we are asking for contributions to our
married life together in the form of [xxx] gift vouchers.
You can purchase these online, by phone or
in store in person. Thank you in advance.

05: Registered honeymoon list
As Janet and John have been sharing a home
for some time they have decided not to
have a traditional gift list. Instead they have
set up a honeymoon account. If you would
like to contribute to their holiday of a lifetime that
will mark the start of their married life together
please contact xxx Weddings: 01231 334435,
reference gift list no. 1234566.

Article by Wedding Stationery Designer Natalie O'Donovan

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